A most extraordinary year – Job, life and love
Can you believe we’re in the seventh month of the year already?! Yup, time ain’t playing games. When you think back to the beginning of the year and your resolutions, do you feel like you’ve accomplished any of your goals? Throwing the question back at myself, I’d say YES! That’s an emphatic yes, in case you didn’t know. But that’s probably because I didn’t make any new year resolutions/goals. I only prayed to God for an extraordinary year (2017) and so far, that one prayer has set the tone for the rest of my 2017, hallelujah!
2016 was a dry year for me, nothing really exciting happened. I led a mundane life, I didn’t feel challenged. I mean, I got a job promotion and survived an accident with the only damage being to my car but that was about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not praying to be in car accidents or anything crazy like that, I just would have liked to look back at 2016 and be amazed by the challenges I faced and overcame. Do you ever get that feeling?
This year, however, I am getting what I asked for, forgetting when times are tough that I asked for it. I quit my job without a plan B, I moved back home (temporarily), I fell in love for the second time – something that I had hoped for but never thought possible and most importantly, I rid myself of a toxic friend.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve learnt a lot about myself. I’ve always been introspective but I find myself even more so now. I’ve been home in Lagos, Nigeria for over three months now and my creative juices are on overdrive. This wouldn’t have happened if I still had a full-time job. Sometimes, being in tough situations matures you faster than being comfortable ever will. Does that make sense? Anyway, I know God has my back come what may so I am not stressed. I am too blessed to be stressed.
Why I quit my job
I really had been thinking of quitting my job for a while. Every day was both monotonous and unpredictable but getting a job as a foreigner in any country is like digging for diamonds in the middle of a tarred road – next to impossible. So, you just thank God you have a job and you’re earning a salary and suppress those negative thoughts that don’t support your 9 to 10 with alcohol. I couldn’t bring myself to quit for a few reasons, the main reason being that I had nothing to fall back on. So even though I wouldn’t take the leap, I ended up having no other choice but to make that decision eventually and it is hella liberating! Honestly, the anxiety that came with my job was just not healthy and even though I may not currently be earning an income, the air I breathe is a lot lighter. That my friend, is worth more than gold.
One should always have a plan B when leaving a job but in extenuating circumstances, it is allowed to resign, refresh and regroup. After the three R’s your next plan will become clearer to you, trust me!
Is this love that I’m feeling?
I never ‘esperreted’ it. Just a couple of months ago, I shared my heartbreak story, (read here) and then not too long after, I met someone who made me feel some feelings I hadn’t felt in a long time. It takes a lot for me to love someone. If I love you, you must be pretty special because my love cost a thing. :p Ours was a whirlwind romance and it was pretty special but short-lived. All the same, I am glad for it and will be forever grateful to the universe for giving me the gift of love for the second time. Love makes the world go round. If you haven’t experienced it, I hope that you do and if you have, I pray that you never lose it.
Ditch the B*tch
Tjo! I’m not even going to bore you with the details but one thing I can say is getting rid of a toxic friend is the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s difficult for many of us to admit that we’re in bad relationships – homo or hetero. We think of the years we’ve given to the friendship, the good times and why we love that person and it becomes difficult to detach because our emotions are involved.
For one, a friend who talks negatively about you behind your back is no friend that you should keep. A friend who consistently lies to you is NOT your friend. If they talk badly about others to you, then best believe they’re talking badly about you to others.
A friend with good character is worth 10 X more than a friend with money, success or whatever else people are drawn to. In reality, I didn’t really lose a friend because I never really had one. It just took me a really long time to figure that out and I sleep better at night since I realised this sad fact.
If you’re having doubts about a friend, listen to your gut and just let it burn. If all you do when you’re with this ‘friend’ is to speak negatively about others, then that’s not a friend, that’s a bitch and a gossip monger. Ugly people say ugly things about others because they’re hurt and bitter. Beautiful people don’t have time to talk negatively about others, they are too busy being beautiful. Let’s all be beautiful with our words, only then can we glow like the star of David.
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Dress and lace choker by me.
Snake ring: Lovisa
Bag: Colette Hayman
Photography by Deji Haastrup, Editing by me.