When Love Leads to Heartbreak
It’s Valentine’s month and what better time to talk about love? Love is a beautiful thing and arguably the best feeling in the world. Everyone wants love but not everyone is fortunate enough to experience it. There is a reason why movies like The Notebook, Titanic and The Holiday to name a few are so popular. Although love isn’t just portrayed in the movies, it is alluded to in many of the books we read and in the songs we listen to. Love is fantastic when it is good, but it can become one of the worst feelings when it leads to heartbreak – whom.
Today’s post is very personal and is, in fact, a watered down version of that I had initially written but decided not to share. My intention is not to put anyone’s like on blast but to share my feelings and thoughts about a subject I am familiar with.I have known love and I have also suffered heartbreak. It’s been over two years since my first and hopefully last heartbreak (I sound like I’m making a confession at an AA meeting). There is a lot of pain that comes from losing the one you love, especially if the person was your best friend. I was shattered when things ended and for a long time, I could not imagine my life without him in it, but thankfully that feeling faded with time.
When you give someone your heart, it means you trust them more than anyone in the world. You trust them with your deepest and darkest secrets, your insecurities and most important of all, you trust them to see the real you.
To love is to allow yourself to be vulnerable, not a feeling many people are comfortable with, least of all me.
Being heartbroken is similar to the feeling you experience when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. When a relationship ends, you go through stages of numbness, disbelief, pain, rebuttal and anger. You feel like your life has no meaning without this person but the most conscious and persistent feeling is denial which you go through for quite some time. You ask yourself, how is it possible to walk away from someone whom you still love? You cry yourself to sleep at night, every night while secretly hoping your love is strong enough for both of you to realise you’re better together than you are apart.
When none of that happens and you see that he’s moved on quicker than you can say ‘bread and butter’ or ‘ milk and oreo’, your heart hurts even more. Being so easily replaceable leaves a huge dent in one’s ego, I’ll tell you. When we decided to part ways, I told him he’ll never find someone like me and I would have laughed if I wasn’t so heartbroken when I found out this man was dating someone else probably a month or less after our break up. It’s really not a nice feeling having someone you love move on to someone else. It would have probably still hurt if he moved on a year later but a few weeks was just too much for my poor heart to handle. They dated, she got pregnant, he got married while I was still trying to get over him and move on. They say ” this too shall pass” and this is a saying I found to be true. I’ve been through enough in my life to appreciate these words.
Everyone’s heartbreak story is different but mine honestly made me stronger. I know now that you need to experience pain to grow and not take anything for granted. There is strength in pain.
If you’re going through heartbreak, you’re not alone. Cry for as long as you need to, eat, don’t eat but do take care of yourself because there is no point in letting yourself go to smithereens because of some man or woman. They say looking good and feeling great is the best revenge so just invest all that love you had for that person in yourself. Almost three years later and I can honestly say that I’m over that ex and even though it took me a long time to get here, I am glad for it because I can move on never wondering “what if”. This would never have happened if I didn’t allow myself to go through the “process”. Don’t try to dull the pain by moving onto someone else, FEEL the pain till you no longer can feel it. Love is a beautiful thing but it can also crush you if you let it.
Take control of your life and never let anyone break your spirit. They can break your heart but never your spirit!
Have you ever been heartbroken? If so, how long did it take for your heart to heal?