Self-Doubt: Getting rid of that nagging voice that tells you you’re not good enough

Even the most confident people have moments of self-doubt. You won’t be human if you didn’t. Clark Kent had moments of doubt and he was Superman. If you have moments where you worry that you’re not good enough, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There are millions, if not billions of women out there who go through this debilitating feeling on a daily basis.

I’m not ashamed to say that I too sometimes suffer from self-doubt but it is crippling and it keeps you from making any real progress so how to get rid of it? If you read on, I’ll provide you with a solution, I promise.

You may have seen my previous post on A most extraordinary year – Job, life and love. If you haven’t, go check it out after reading this post. If you have read it, you will know that I resigned from my job and I am currently self-employed – yay! I think this has been the greatest boost to my self-confidence. But since I’ve become self-employed, the nagging question at the back of my mind has now taken centre stage, the question is “Am I ambitious enough?” While this is a good question to ask oneself, it is also tricky because it can either motivate or demotivate, making you feel like a failure.

You start to compare yourself to others, look at all the things you’re doing wrong and get really down on yourself thinking you’re not good enough. This is self-destructive and you need to adjust your mindset and start believing in yourself and know that you are awesome.

Honore de Balzac said, When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.

When you feel yourself slipping into that dark space of self-doubt, here are 5 things you can do to help you to believe in yourself again:

    1. Stop overthinking

      I can tell you right now that overthinking is the worst thing you can do. I am so guilty of it. When you overthink something instead of going with your gut, you are most likely going to always doubt yourself. When you become in tune with your gut, you will doubt yourself less.  Learn to listen to your gut.

    2. Positive self-affirmation

      We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else and so what you believe about yourself is what you allow yourself to believe. Change your mind, change your life. Stop saying I can’t and start saying I can. Stop looking at the negatives and start looking at the positives. It’s easier said than done, I know, but the best way is to start by saying three positive things about yourself daily and if you can’t, start doing things that will make you have those three positive things to say. For instance, giving food to a homeless person. Volunteering at an orphanage. Complimenting someone else and meaning it. Slowly start to build your thoughts around positive things about yourself and you’ll see the shift in your attitude and outlook to life.

    3. Make a to-do list

      What does making a to-do list have to do with building one’s confidence you may wonder. A lot! If you wake up every day, pray, and write a list of things you want to accomplish that day, it makes the world of difference. Even if it is only a list of two things; a) do laundry. b) read a book.

      Writing these things down and ticking it off at the end of the day gives one a sense of accomplishment. In so doing, you build up your confidence and start breaking down those self-deprecating thoughts.

    4. Take a break

      Maybe you’re only experiencing self-doubt because you are struggling to complete a project you’ve been working on for some time. Take a break, try to relax and focus your mind on something else. Come back to that project when you are feeling less stressed and more creative.

      Ever lost something like a piece of jewellery? Sometimes you look everywhere for it, in places you know it most likely isn’t, on the off chance that it is, but you don’t find it.

      However, a week after you’ve given up searching, your jewellery shows up. Taking a break from a stressful project is likely to result in renewed vigour. When you think and stress too much, you get stuck causing you to doubt yourself. But just take a break: breathe, admire nature and go back to that project when you’re more relaxed. You may lose your confidence for a while but when you disconnect for a little while instead of fixating on something, you find your purpose again.

    5. Connect with friends and family

      There’s a reason why they say “no man is an island”. If you want to go far in this world, you have to rely on help from others. Surrounding yourself with people who love and support you can make the world of difference. When you share your struggles with others, you find that you are not alone and there are others going through similar or worse. Knowing that there are others worse off and that you have support can help shift your mentality from “woe is me” to “I need to stop feeling sorry for myself”.

      Eliminating feelings of self-doubt requires daily practice and discipline. If you don’t work on being the best that you can be, you can’t be the best to anyone else. No one ever accomplished anything tangible by wallowing in self-pity, so, don’t.

      What practises help you with feelings of self-doubt?


Sunglasses: Ray Ban

Dress: Karen Ubani Apparel

Heels: Woothworths

Sling bag: H&M

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4 Discussion to this post

  1. Kate says:

    I love these tips! Totally agree with you about the power of a to-do list! x

    Kate Louise Blogs

    • Tejumade Haastrup says:

      Thanks for reading Kate. To-do lists stop me from panicking and feeling overwhelmed, I rate it highly! xx

  2. Demilade says:

    Enjoyed reading this, self-doubt is something that I suffer from at times. To do lists are honestly so great, you’re right when you say they give you a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Not overthinking is true too and it’s something I need to remind myself more often.

    Finally, I really liked your jewellery analogy. I’ve never thought of it that way but you’re so right. Sometimes taking a break is the solution to your problem. Great post 🙂

    • Tejumade Haastrup says:

      Glad you enjoyed reading, Demilade. Yeah, overthinking is just foul! It’s what they call ‘enemy of progress’ but with practice, you can over come it. xx

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