I have known many single women who feel a sense of shame for being single. This feeling of shame and inadequacy can be blamed on societal pressures especially within the African community. You are deemed less of a woman if you are not in a relationship. God forbid you are in your late twenties to early thirties and have no marriage prospects, then you need deliverance because clearly without a man, your life has no meaning.
Well, I’m calling it bull shit! Times have changed, gone are the days when a woman’s position in society is based on her husband’s social status. As women, we have the right to study, work, vote, drive- hell, we even own businesses so the need to marry for financial gain is archaic and gradually diminishing in today’s society, thank God! So instead of marrying for convenience we now marry for love. We have a choice in choosing the person we want to be with for the rest of our lives so why settle or fall into the trap of choosing the wrong one for the wrong reasons.
As a single woman myself, I have learnt many lessons in my years of singledom and as someone who has been in a serious long-term relationship, I can say with authority that being in a relationship is hard work and if you’re not mature or ready or both, you can very easily lose yourself and hate your life. Even if you are mature and the wisest person on earth, a relationship will test you.
At the end of the day, being in a relationship has its ups and it also has its downs so instead of jumping into something out of loneliness- something you may later regret, why don’t you start by loving yourself and knowing who you are, because finding love becomes unimportant when you find happiness and fulfilment within yourself instead of looking for it in someone else.
As I mentioned earlier, being in a relationship is hard work. Whether you are seriously dating or married, sacrifice, comprise, patience, forgiveness are just some of the things you need to have and give in your relationship. Instead of spending your days sad and depressed about your single status, why not look at the positive aspects of being single and embrace it wholeheartedly because there will come a time when you will miss this period, even if for just a moment.
Here are 11 reasons why you should celebrate being single:
1. You can go anywhere you want, whenever you want, without consulting anyone.
When you’re in a committed relationship, your life is no longer your own, not fully anyway. In everything that you do, you have to tell your partner or ask permission. If you want to go on a girls’ night, you gotta ask him. You cannot make unilateral decisions because you are in a partnership. But the single girl is free to come and go as she pleases.
2. You can get jiggy with whoever you want
When you’re in a monogamous relationship, it goes without saying that kissing or having sexual relations with anyone other than your partner is a no-no. But none of that matters when you’re single, so go on, get it!
3. Flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt
If you’re like me, flirting seems wrong when you’re in a relationship so even when a hottie flirts with you, you freeze and worry you’re being disrespectful to your partner if you flirt back. Well, worry not singleton!
4. You can sleep in any corner of the bed, even the middle
No need to explain this much, anyone who’s been or who is in a relationship can probably attest to the fact that sharing the bed and covers is one of the most challenging things for any couple. You ain’t gotta worry about that if you’re single, no one will hijack the covers from you on those cold, winter nights.
5. You don’t have to endure your partner’s snoring
Being single means you don’t have to suffer sleepless nights from your partner’s very loud snoring, hurray!
6.The toilet seat is always down
Yes, any woman who has ever lived with a man knows this struggle. It’s either they leave the toilet seat up or there’s urine on the toilet seat. That is not your concern, my single friend and thank God for that!
7. You don’t have to pretend to like his friends
Remember when I said earlier that being in a relationship is hard work and that it requires sacrifice among other things? Well, this is one of them. However, since you’re not in a relationship, you are free to be guiless.
8. You don’t have to cook if you don’t want to
In some relationships, the couple takes turns cooking but there are times when you don’t feel like cooking, even though it is your turn. When you’re single, you can have takeaway dinner for the rest of your life if that’s what you want because it is all about YOU baby.
9. You are master of the remote
Couples fight over what to watch on TV. She wants to watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and he wants to watch a football match. As a single woman, you control the remote and can watch whatever you want, whenever you want and you never have to miss an episode of The Bachelor.
10. The only family dinner you need to worry about is your own
When you’re in a committed relationship, there is the obligatory dinner with his family twice a week, maybe less but the fact is those days exist. While you may love his family, having dinner with them more than twice a month may be a little intense but you’re a good in-law so you just smile through the pain. Well, there is no need for suffering through awkward family dinners in the single gals ’club.
11. Shop till you drop
I’ve never had to hide my shopping from someone I am in a relationship with but I have a few friends that have. Your money is no longer “yours” in a relationship, it is “ours”. None of that for the single girl. You can be as impulsive with your spending as you want, there is no one to answer to.
While I can go on and on, I’ll conclude here. I am by no means saying relationships are bad, but it isn’t easy and you don’t need to rush the process. Enjoy your single status, invest your time and love on yourself because being single is not something to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with you, and when you appreciate this moment with yourself, you will feel whole and empowered.
Whether you end up married or remain single for the rest of your life, the important thing is to live your best life and you can never do that if you constantly feel like you need another human being to make you happy.
Love yourself because you are enough. Happiness comes from within.
If you enjoyed this post and would like to see more posts like this, please leave me a comment.