things women find unattractive in men

Valentine’s Day Edition: 10 Things Women Find Unattractive in Men

With Valentine’s Day but a day away, it got me thinking… I have been single every Valentine’s Day for the past three, maybe even four years. Not that the day is particularly significant to me because even in a relationship, I don’t make a big hoo-ha of the day. But short of writing another article on how to enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single woman, or how to turn your Valentine’s into Galentine’s, I thought I’d switch it up a bit.  Because some of us are single for various reasons, not excluding the fact that the choices out there are seriously limited. Too many fuckboys, not enough real men. Am I right, single ladies?

You can’t force chemistry. For me, actions and the person’s character can spark that chemistry or make it fizzle.

There are certain things that even if physically attractive can make a man unattractive in seconds.

Here is my list of 10 things that men do that are a serious turn-off:

  1. Going dutch

Sure I am an independent woman and sure I can take care of myself and pay my own bills but if you are taking me out on a date, please be prepared to pay. And I’m not just talking about paying on one date, pay for the others to come. It’s such a turn-off when a guy expects you to split the bill. If you’re broke or a penny pincher, don’t date.  I know many women who feel the same way I do.

I’m always ready to pay/ split the bill when I go out on a date but if he lets me pay, that’s  – 100 man points and he would be so lucky to get a second date.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to go 50/50 or pay for our bill but only once we’ve established some kind of relationship. If we’re still in the courting phase, abeg respect yourself and pay that bill bros.

2. Lack of confidence

A man who lacks confidence is a no-no. Sure we all have insecurities but it’s about not letting them get the better of you. If you don’t know what you want, you let your nerves get the best of you then there’s not going to be a second date. There may not even be a first.

3. Being cocky

You can be confident but not cocky. There’s something very attractive about a guy that is humble. If you think money, good looks and a great body is all you need to woo a woman, think again oloshi!

4. Not taking time for courtship

Some men move too quickly and I’m sure you ladies know what I mean by that. Most of us attractive females (I’m just stating facts) are not short of ‘ booty calls’  should that be a need.  So, humble yourself. What are you offering other than the purple eggplant? If what you’re looking for is a sex buddy, make that clear so we can decide if we want to waste our time with you. But if you want our hearts, you have to work for it.

5. Talking too much about yourself

Communication is a two-way street. When you talk all about yourself then it’s a monologue and not a dialogue. If you want to talk only about yourself, go see a psychoanalyst. A date is not the place to read out your autobiography.

6. Not responding to text messages

No one is ever too busy to respond to a message. Sure you may not be able to respond immediately but if a whole 24hrs goes by and you do not respond, it’s over!  There are of course extenuating circumstances but it’s disrespectful and shows a lack of regard which is so unattractive. Us self-respecting gals appreciate a man who values us and texts us even on his death bed.

7. Lack of personal  grooming

This is non-negotiable. If your nails are not clean and short, you don’t use cologne, moisturise your lips, don’t even bother approaching me. Personal grooming is very important to me as a person and so I expect it to be just as important in any potential partner. Trim your beard, hair and all that jazz. Grooming is not expensive for men so you have no excuse. Everyone has a different scale of what constitutes as good grooming, these are mine. Ladies, what are yours?

8. Too metrosexual

So you are into personal grooming, good for you! You are what some of us require on paper but when you overdo it, that’s not so attractive. Spending too much time in the bathroom fixing your hair, your lips so well moisturised it looks like you wear lipgloss is a bit much.  Practise good grooming habits but don’t overdo it.


9. Checking out other women

It’s no secret that women are bloody attractive. I find myself questioning my sexuality sometimes but a man who has to look at every exposed cleavage or turn to look every time a woman walks by is repulsive. It gives off  ‘creep’  vibes. I’m not saying don’t look, it would be unnatural not to which in itself is also unattractive so look but don’t be creepy, dude!

10. Not being Chivalrous

This is really quite up there for me. There’s nothing more unattractive than an insensitive man. It really does something to me when a man sees you struggling and offers to help. It could be to carry my suitcase up a flight of stairs, offer to carry my groceries. Whatever it is if he doesn’t have my number and he asks for it, I most likely will give it to him without hesitation. But a man who sees you struggling and does nothing, – 1000 man points.

Those are just some of the things that make a guy unattractive to me. I know some of you ladies can relate while some of you may not. Please leave a comment and let me know which ones you agree with and which ones you disagree with. Feel free to add on your list of things you find unattractive in a man.

And if you’re a single man reading this and you are guilty of any of the above, please do better. Happy Valentine’s day! Single or in a relationship, love yourself.


Check out other Valentine’s day posts below:

7 Habits of Self-Loving Women

Alone again on Valentine’s Day?

Images sourced from Canva and Gary Conkling Life

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